I finished the UpStart Venture Accelerator application I was working on for so many days, and I feel the need to document publicly here that I am so freakin proud. In the course of completing this application I re-taught myself how to write our fiscal year budget such that now I actually understand it, I wrote descriptions of our programs, mission and vision that articulate what we’re up in the clearest way thus far, I incorporated wisdom I gleaned from past (rejected) funding applications, and I went to sleep at a sort-of normal-ish time every night. (Just one very salient example re: my budget insight was that I haven’t been including volunteer staff hours as in-kind donations, and wowza, that just really changes everything. I still did it in sort of a namby-pamby way in which I underpaid, in this theoretical listing of what their/our time is worth, the staff that I am not actually paying anyway. Equal pay for equal work, yo! Even in the theoretical estimated world of in-kind donations! Will have to fix that for next time. Ok, wait, back to positive affirmations…) Most importantly, for the last day of work on the application I was totally singularly focused most of the day, totally tuned in to sharing our work and our budget with clarity. That being tuned in-ness, being at the edge of my creative capacity but totally feeling up to the task of learning, is one the most glorious modes ever.

Does all that make it any more likely that we’ll get this opportunity that we’ve applied for? Hard to say. Were there things that I could have polished even more if I wasn’t still scrambling to tie up loose ends at the last minute? Yes, always. But like all of my favorite internet memes are always cheering, it’s important to celebrate the wins. And as the Zohar and all the Hasidic rebbes are always saying…

Mantras for today (today being the day that I'm trying to finish Atiq's application to UpStart's Venture Accelerator:

1. Trust yourself and trust your words (David, this one is timeless)

2. I am GREAT at writing applications.